Can your family be your home?
by LisaAbiona15
Summary: 3.21/3.22 au: he had just wanted to know his mom was okay, possibly offer her a grilled cheese and tell her they would figure it out. Instead, he comes across a portal, falls through space and time and lands himself into trouble by stopping his mo - the evil queen from hurting someone. Who decides to take him to her castle. Regal Believer. SQ at the end. Focus on RB.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own OUAT.**

They can tell him their stupid reasons and pretend like he is just some kid, but his mother is out there somewhere and she is sad. And maybe his memories are all false, or edited copy's where the face of her mother is swapped, but there is still a bit of that 'it is mom and me against the rest of the world' feeling left. Besides, he hates it when they hide things from him or deem something 'unsafe'. Emma is his mother and they have spent the last year together and he has gotten to know her in years of real memories and a lifetime of memories he doesn't know what to make off.

Sometimes she wants to be alone when she needs someone around her. Not necessarily to talk; she isn't always good at that. She just need someone to be there and do things like insult her gaming skills.

He is running towards the park when he stumbles and catches himself. He leans against a tree, nearly gagging. Now that he is standing still, the heat is quickly leaving him and he shivers a little. He wipes the sweat from his brow, leans forward to take deep breaths. He watches the little clouds every breath makes for a while, his heartbeat slowing and the stitch in his side thankfully disappearing.

He thinks part of the forest is on fire , at first. Then squints his eyes and – _it is a light beam. Magic. From-_ he starts running again, only hesitating long enough for his heartbeat to speed up again. His feet slap against the autumn leaves as he runs, glancing at the beam that leads the way for him.

He grabs his phone from his pocket, formulates a text – There is something going on with the farm. Bring backup- he does not press 'send' yet because there would be transportation and scolding and he would potentially never discover what is going on.

Besides, he wants to rescue someone for once. He is tired of being rescued, of being just a damsel in distress.

He gasps and nearly drops his phone: through a hole in the farm's roof, there is light that looks oddly like the cheesy scenes from movies where they try to show Heaven. If he is really quiet, he can hear the sound of what is possibly the wind over his heartbeat and panting. He takes one step forward, places his hand on the wooden doors.

He deflates, steps back. He has no weapons, no magic, nothing to defend himself against what is – his eyes fall on a large stone a little while back. It is not as impressive as a sword or as effective as a pistol but it will have to do. He runs back, grabs it and holds it in his closed left hand. His phone is still in his right one when he pushes the doors open in a quick motion, his thumb going to the **send** -

He only sees light that hurts his eyes for a moment, his legs are suddenly gone from underneath him and he has an immediate headache as his head hits the ground. More serious however is how he can hardly move and how he can feel the slight burn in his back as he is pulled towards that light by an unseen force. He pushes the stone into his pocket, uses one hand to grab on to anything, anything- ( he can hardly move that hand, the same gravitational force now also pressing down on his hand with the weight of several bookcases)

His eyes water – is it pain or fear- and he tastes blood as he somehow manages to select her number. He cries out a little, his nails breaking and the skin beneath turning into scrapes as he claws at the earth desperately. For a moment, he stills –

His body is metres away from the inferno behind him, something heavy pulling on his legs and he has is staring at the raging fire lapping at his feet. He thinks he is saved when he hears her voice. " Corazon? ".

It is too difficult. His strength wanes, his grip slips and he is flying through the air with the heat of an immense fire on his back. His voice breaks when he screams it.

" MOMMA".

The rushing of the fire is louder than her voice, the orange quickly fades into the black, his stomach drops as his body does, the warmth around him is quickly replaced by intense cold- he screams one last time ,

Then fades.

* * *

When he comes to, he can taste dirt. He spits, wipes his mouth before he struggles to his feet. There are birds chirping around him, leaves and a lot of trees. It should not be possible, is against the very laws of magic and- " the enchanted forest" he breathes. He has stared at the drawings so many times that he could never not recognize it.

He struggles to his feet and immediately looks at the phone he somehow has managed to hold on to desperately. Miraculously, it still works but when he tries to call her again, instead of his mom's soothing ( actually , in this case he can expect it to be more nerve-wrecked) voice , he gets croaks and static. And there is another problem- _the battery. It is almost full now, but how would I ever recharge it here?_

He quickly turns off his phone and puts it in his pocket as he hears neighs and horse feet. He watches from behind a tree as a familiar carriage comes into view and an even more familiar figure can be seen behind its tiny window. _Mom._

The carriage comes to a halt and he is reminded that he is not looking at his mother. His mother's eyes are filled with awed wonder after she broke a curse; the same brown eyes are angry and a little insane when this woman stalks towards the line of villagers. He sneaks closer, so he can hear more than the general tone of her voice.

He has to grip the branches to keep himself from surging forward, thinking about- a _bout what? How would I stop her? Even if I had a sword- that's_ – it might actually be worse than the false-but-not memories he has, seeing his mom like this. Seeing the evil queen wearing his mom's face.

A part of him feels hopeful – because yes, she is being pretty terrible but she has yet to rip out hearts or- when she makes a grand gesture and says 'this is what helping Snow White looks like". He does not think he has ever heard something more terrible the woman's voice as she desperately cries for help, but then his mother _laughs_ and he gets angry and flinches and is a ten-year-old coming to the most awful realization ever again.

It is stupid and reckless, but he cannot help it. If the whole village is just going to stand there and do _nothing_ , he will have to do it. He runs forward and barges straight into one of the guards. He falls , but he is prepared for it and manages to get to his feet far more quickly than the guard does. He places himself between the bound woman and the guard. His legs are trembling but he raises his head and uses the glare he has copied from his mom.

" Keep away from her".

The guard pulls his arm back, ready to thrust his sword towards Henry and he simultaneously gets ready to push the woman behind him to the ground and drop to the ground as well. Then there is the sound of her heels and her cool voice " Do not kill the child"

He only turns around to face her when the guard has sheathed his sword and taken several steps back. She grabs his chin- which startles him, because of how it lacks the usual gentleness- and places on hand against his chest. He swallows. She wouldn't –

" Where is she?".

" I do not know" of course he knows. No one knows the book as well as he does.

Maybe she still has that special sense, the one where she catches nearly every lie he tells her , because she narrows her eyes and snarls. " You have one last cha- ".

" if you kill her, it won't bring Daniel back" he blurts out.

She stalls. He flinches at the look at her face at first, then automatically reaches for her hand when it is replaced by sadness and pa- She glances at where he is squeezing her hand with confusion. She studies him for a while, then slowly pulls her hand off his chest and steps back. He is just relaxing when she pushes him, hard enough that he stumbles towards the guard.

" Bring the boy to my chariot" she sneers as she looks at the still bound woman. " _She_ will spend her last night in my dungeons".

And before he can do anything, a man is dragging him towards the chariot and he can hear the woman's voice as she shouts for help and yells at the guard holding her " what kind of monster are you, _release_ me" . He pulls and tugs and pushes against the tight grip on his arm but the stoic, faceless person ignores him.

The door of the chariot opens and he falls on the seat inside. The ev- queen speaks as soon as they start to move. "Did that dreadful Snow white tell you his name? ".

He thinks really fast. Saying 'yes' could lead to two scenario's. One; he is kept alive and might survive misleading her. Two: she forces him to tell Snow's hiding place. "No " he finally says, recognizing that she is becoming impatient.

" It was Rumpelstilstkin".

" Nope. But you can keep guessing" he shrugs. " If you want to".

He can see she is surprised. But honestly, now that she is no longer threatening an entire village, she just looks like his mom dressed up and complaining about the 'idiocy and ineptitude' of most of the townspeople. " Enough games. Tell me how you know that name".

He doesn't know where he gets the idea. Perhaps it is years of reading comics as well as books. Perhaps it is because he knows he needs some leverage her, that he cannot leave himself unprotected. " I am a seer".

She cocks her head, then laughs. It is not a pleasant one and he is suddenly struck with homesickness. " No, you are not" she finally says. They learned that some animals bare their teeth to threaten others. That is what she is doing; she is not smiling, she is threatening him.

He thinks of the prisoner and wants to yell at the queen and beg her for mercy at the same time. A part of him thinks he just has to ask her for mercy and she will give it to him like she has always tried to give him everything , but he shuts that part up ' _this is not mom. This is the evil queen, decades before Storybrooke and mom._

Still, a part of him must be too stubborn to listen because he finds himself glaring at her like it is not a death sentence. " I am a seer. I know you hate gra- Snow white because she told your secret. I know your first love died. _And_ I know that woman was innocent" he says the last words like an accusation.

She pulls her lips up in something that can hardly be called a smile. "She was a collaborator. She obviously aided my enemy, which makes her a traitor to me and the kingdom in extension".

" Even if she did help Snow- she just- ".

The queen interrupts him. "Where is she? You obviously sympathizes with her and she must have spilled my secrets _again._ So tell me where that cockroach is hiding, so I can properly crush her with my boot.

" I thought she did not even know Daniel died" he frowns.

The insane look in her eyes, the sparks at her fingertips and the general harshness about her fades. " No. She does not".

When he first got the book, he only saw the horrible things that were done by the woman with pained eyes and a cruel smirk. Lately, he has learned to look at more than that- until he wonders 'how deep ran the queen's hatred for Snow White'? sometimes, the queen really seems to not have been trying as hard as you would've expected from someone who will 'destroy Snow if it is the last thing she does'.

" Anyways, she never told me".

" I do not- ".

" You press your hand against your stomach when you are nervous. You have had an apple tree since you were a little girl. You are bad at remembering numbers. You are a restless sleeper and often get up in the middle of the night. You dislike certain fish types, but enjoy most meat".

She suddenly grabs his chin again and digs her nails in. He can feel them break his skin. " Who told you this about me?".

" It is k-kind of a long story".

She smiles slowly. " Oh, we have the time". She pushes him away. " The only thing I have scheduled in the morning is an execution".

" I won't tell you".

" What?".

It is probably insane that he is trying it but- "I will not let anyone die. So if you want to know what I know you will have to promise you do not hurt that lady".

She chuckles. " You certainly are audacious. However, you are also misguided if you think I will let her go " there is a seriously freaky look in her eyes. " Aiding Snow White in any way is treason".

He bites his lip hard, wanting to say so many things to her. But he suspects the retaliation would be harsh so he settles for glaring. She merely arches her eyebrow and sits back. " As soon as we arrive at my castle, you will follow my guards towards my personal chambers. I have certain responsibilities that require my attention at first, but will join you shortly thereafter. You will tell me everything you know".

"If you do not hurt her".

She presses her hand to his chest again, glances down. " You will tell me" is all she says – promises. He pushes her hand away. It is weird how his glare falters – maybe it is because his mom's look of concern and love is still fresh in his mind, or the feeling of another curse broken still lingers.

 _How come hating this woman was so much easier years ago?_

But then again, maybe it was not. He had been hurt and so very angry and he had wanted her to lose. But he can also remember moments where he had been automatically smiled at her or reached for her hand to squeeze it. Stupid things that had become a habit. Maybe it is something like that now, or maybe it is just because he is all alone in a land he has only read about – with no way to get home or even get any food- and if he could wish for one person to be here, he would probably wish for his mom.

Either way, it messes with his head.

He could run away. There is a guard place before the door, but he is sure he could find a way around that. He could pretend to be ill or hurt. He could scream and shout and be a nuisance. Except-

He has no resources; no gold or jewels or anything that will serve as payment. His clothes will attract many questions, questions he cannot answer. He has no place to stay, no transport and no map that with 'WAY TO CURSED TOWN, STORYBROOKE, MAINE" in bold red letters. One of the only people that might be able to get him home, is a giggling madman that could demand anything – from his firstborn to his ability to love- in exchange for his help.

He is all alone, lost and without any way to defend himself or care for himself. And that is not even thinking about how much he could ruin by being here. Fortunately, he cannot rip the space-continuum apart by coming across another him , but he could accidentally prevent his birth in tens of little ways.

Ironically enough, the safest option might be staying at the evil queen's castle.

He is sulking on the couch, going through his backpack when he hears her heels. He keeps his eyes on the items he has pulled out instead of on her. It is only when she grabs the flashlight and examines it. She presses the switch and stares at the beam of light.

" I have never seen magic like this" she remarks.

He takes the flashlight from her. " That is because it is not magic"

" It is not?".

" No It has an electrical circuit made of batteries – which is the source of power- , a lamp and the switch". He presses the switch. " if you press the switch, it starts a flow of electricity- " .

" Electricity?".

" Yeah. Like- " he thinks for a moment. " you know lightning, right? ".

" Yes. What of it? ".

" Electricity is kind of like lightning. Except trapped lightning, used to power machines".

" Trapping lightning.. that still sounds like magic".

Henry shrugs. " It is not ". He puts the flashlight in his backpack again. The queen stares at the items he puts back ( his lunchbox, his thermos, grilled cheese in a plastic bag, a blanket) " How have you acquired these strange items ?" she asks.

" I have gotten most of it from my moms" he says, his throat closing as he thinks of how far from home he is.

The queen sits down on the other end of the couch. " Where are your mothers now then?".

He swallows, blinks rapidly. " Home. Which is very far from here".

" Are you lost? ".

He shrugs. _Is it safe to tell her I am?_ She scoots a little closer. He studies her. What is her angle here? Is she being relatively nice so he will spill the information? That doesn't make sense, not if she could just- He subtly places the backpack in between them like a shield. If she is planning to take his heart, she will first have to throw it on the floor. Which might give him enough time to run.

Though if she really wants to, he is sure she could take his heart without too much trouble.

There is silence for a moment, silence that leaves Henry to contemplate whether he should run after all. He is arguing with himself when she breaks the silence. " Is there any reason in particular that you broke my mirror? ".

He glances at the mirror. "Oh. I did not want the genie to spy on me".

" So you know about him, too". The queen arches her eyebrow the exact same way his mom does- which makes sense because she is his , well she is sort of his mom. Gods, his head _really_ hurts. He misses simpler times, when math used to be the most confusing thing in his life.

" Yes. I know almost everything" _apart from your time with Leopold, you- no, she refuses to say more than ' I never wanted that marriage'._

" Have you been spying on me?". She studies him again. " Infiltrated my palace as a servant, to gather intel so Snow White knows when to attack me".

" I don't think I could pass for a convincing servant".

The smile is almost normal this time. "No, you could not" she agrees.

" Any more questions?"

" You can tell me where she is".

" I told you, I do not know".

" You seem like a smart boy…" he tenses at the look she sends him. "and yet, you are foolish enough to lie to me".

" I am not lying".

She starts to stand and stalks towards him. He glides of the couch and pulls his backpack towards him. He faces her, tries to stand tall and look like he remains unimpressed. He learned that from the days he would go with her, chatting until the meeting would start and she would stare them all down. He uses that look now, but she keeps approaching him.

Finally, she is in front of him. "I could ascertain that you will never lie to me again " she warns.

He nods.

" I would not even need your heart for that".

 _Truth potions. Dark magic. Artefacts she might have._ He nods again.

" So tell me… " she has one arm pulled back, and he recognizes her signature move. " where did you get this information".

" You need to free her".

His eyes are on that arm so he knows when she tries it. Seconds before her hand sinks into his chest, he moves away , stumbles and starts to run. He hears the door slam, but that is not where he was headed anyways. Instead, he goes for the mirror. By the time she is in front of him again, he has a glass shard in his hand.

When she moves in again, he rushes forward. Two inches from her cheek, he drops the shard. The anger fades and leaves him feeling drained. He actually stumbles. " I am s-sorry" he says, head bent. He feels sick and tired, the fight out of him for a moment. She presses her hand to his chest- _I am sorry grandma, I am so sorry_ \- then stuns him by instead almost gently pushing his chin up.

" Why did you drop it?".

" I couldn't – ' he shudders, " I couldn't hurt you".

"Because hurting people is bad?".

" N-no" he rubs the few tears away. " Well yes, that too but- I thought you would be different. I thought it would be simple".

"What are you talking about".

He shakes his head. He kind of really wants to tell her- _would that be enough to make her like mom?_ But he knows he cannot. He is pretty sure the rules of time travelling don't allow it , for once. And he also has no idea how she would react (if she would even believe him".

" Never mind" .

She stares at him, then shrugs. " Very well. You can keep your secrets ".

" I c-can?".

She smiles. He does not trust that smile, it is sharp like the glass shards beneath his sneakers. " For now". She takes a few steps away from him. " We will have dinner first".

Before he can even say something like 'no thanks , I enjoy food that is not potentially poisoned' , there is already a servant at the door. She comes in after a short hesitance , behind the two servants that carry a table and the others that carry two chairs. The table is placed in the middle of the room, one chair at the head of it and the other to its right.

The servant girl places the silver dish in the middle of the long table, bows and disappears from the room. When she returns, she has several smaller dishes that she quickly places on the table. After several trips, the table is filled with all sorts of food- most of which he does not recognize. She curtsies, then pulls the throne-like chair back.

The queen sits down, then suddenly grabs the girl's wrist. Henry is already moving forward, thinking of a way he can help, opening his mouth to divert the queen's attention when the grip loosens and the queen's voice almost sounds pleasant as she asks 'what have you chosen tonight, dear'?

The woman blushes, curtsies again. The queen lets her go and watches her as she hurries to where a bottle is leaning against the wall, returns with two glasses. She places one glass in front of his chair, fills the other glass and hands it to the queen.

The queen hums, then nods. " Very well chosen". The woman preens. " Thank you, your majesty" . She just stands there and Henry thinks she is staring at the queen but the woman is half turned away from him so he cannot be sure.

The queen gestures in his direction . " The boy?".

" Oh! My apologies, your majesty" She grabs Henry's glass and turns to him " Do you also want some?".

The queen tutted and pulled the woman towards her. They whispered something to each other before the woman pulled away and said " Would you also like some, sir?".

He could feel himself blush. " You do not have to call me that. It is kind of weird if you do actually".

"Very well" she pulled back his chair from him, he sat down after a short hesitation.

" Is there anything else I can help you with, your majesty? ".

"I do not think so. You are dismissed". The woman looked – _disappointed? What is going on here?_ But curtsied one last time and left the chamber. Henry kind of wanted to ask her to stay, then felt bad about it. What if the queen got mad at her and tried to hurt her?

The queen picked up her cutlery and started to eat. He stared down at the plate, wondering whether he would r _eally_ insult her if he did not eat. At all. " Is there any reason you are staring at your plate like that? I assume you have not been raised by wolves and thus know how to use cutlery".

" Of course I know, my mom taught me manners. I am just not sure whether I can eat this without getting food poisoning"

" My food is prepared by the most skilful cooks and brought to me by a servant that has earned my trust. I very much doubt it will get you ill".

" Is she your friend ? " the book never showed much of the queen, just how she destroyed his grandparents' lives. They never talked about what she did when she was staying at her castle. He suddenly really wants to know.

Mo- the queen swallows her bite. " I do not usually gallivant with servants, dear".

"I don't get it – you never wanted to be queen, right?" he carefully watches her, to see whether him asking questions like this anger her. She does not seem particularly angry, so he continues. " So why would you even care about whether someone you want to be friends or whatever with is 'of a lower social standing' That makes no sense".

" I have changed much since I believed that it did not matter whether you were a princess…" she looks more like the mother he knows when she is like this, sad and nearly subdued. Does that even make sense? " or a stable boy".

" Do you not _want_ to be friends with her?" he asks. He always wanted friends. He just never knew how to make them. And well- people were often so different from him.

" You should really not concern yourself with my private life" her voice has changed again, now a clear warning.

" But do you think it really matters? In the end, it does not really mean that much that you are royalty. It is cool and interesting, but it is not like it immediately gives you superpowers".

Mo – the queen lowers her glass. Her lips are tinted red." Superpowers?".

" Sort of magical talents. You can have super strength or super speed".

" That sounds.. intriguing" he feels kind of guilty that he is sort of enjoying himself. Apparently, even when she is the evil queen, mom still likes talking about their usual topics of conversation. He has had hours-long talks with her about what counts as redemption, whether a hero can also hurt people, whether certain abilities would actually be possible.. He misses days and evenings like that.

" It is. But the superheroes never get their powers because they are royalty. They make them or they have them because they are from another planet or it is like fate, you know?".

The queen swallows the bite she has just taken. " I am not exactly fate's greatest admirer" she admits.

" Anyways, what I was saying, is that it does not really matter in the end whether you are royalty or not".

The queen smiles lazily. " Some would already consider such a bold statement treason".

" But not you?".

" Not at the moment. I do believe you are not intentionally offensive".

'not at the moment' and 'for now'. She only seems predictable in her unpredictability. But he already knew that. " Fine. Why do you think it matters whether you are royalty?".

" You have to claw your way up to become royalty. And once you are there, you have to be a certain type of person to remain there. You are always fighting".

"Why do you not just run away? " _I don't understand. She seems unhappy, so why does she stay the queen._ " why don't you just leave the kingdom and built a new life for yourself? ".

The queen curls her lip, her hand tightens around the glass. " She committed a crime. She betrayed me. I am _not_ letting her get away with it".

" She did not mean to" he says softly, all too aware what kind of land mine Snow White is.

The glass shatters and the chair is shoved back. He knows he should be terrified of the evil queen , but he is only slightly afraid. " you- " she growls and moves her hand.

He ducks as his own glass shatters, throwing his arms up above him. The chair behind him is thrown against the wall. He can feel the table – which is heavy enough that three muscular people had to carry it- barges into the wall. He slowly removes his arms and dares to look at her. There is blood dripping from her outstretched hand, there is that bulging vein on her forehead. He waits until she slowly exhales and starts to lower her arm.

He is angry until she turns her hand and he sees the glass that is sticking in her skin. Then he just feels like he has spent the night gaming and eating too much candy. He approaches her, which surprises her enough that she just stands there and observes him.

He shows her his napkin " you hurt your hand. May I?".

She nods. She calms further as he pulls the little shards from her hand , wincing every time he removes another one. She, on the other hand, does not even seem to feel them. She stares down at them with detachment. " There is a chamber you will stay at " she says, voice also oddly detached.

He nods. " Okay" it is better than the dungeons at least. He opens his mouth, almost offers to stay with her- there is just something in her eyes that compels him to even if there is a bit of anger returning at the same time- when she waves her hand. " Go. If I wish to speak to you, I will summon you".

He does not look back as he makes his way across glass and splinters and food. The guard walks towards him. For what must be the thousandth time, he thinks about leaving. The guard's gloved hand is loosely clasped around his shoulder, like he has anywhere to run. Because that is the thing, isn't it?

He has no home here-

Does he?

* * *

He feels something not unlike hope in the night when he sneaks out , wanders around the castle and finally figures out where the entrance to the dungeons is. When he gets to the cell he knows holds the woman he tried to save, the torches flicker to light and-

She is sitting in a comfortable chair, a book on her lap and the unknown woman nowhere to be seen. It nearly makes him jump out of his skin.

He is both terrified and furious for a moment, thinking she has already executed her or brought her somewhere else to hurt her or- she slowly marks the page she was reading, then makes the book disappear. The cell doors swing open and she steps out.

" I believe that you owe me an answer" she says.

" where is she?".

" She is on her way home, which will be a safe journey _if_ you give me what you promised".

She is still a jerk for blackmailing him, but at least she has let someone she probably hates go. "The easiest answer is that there is a book. A book about you, and Snow and the whole history between the two of you".

" Tell me".

So he does. They return to 'his' room and he curls down in a chair and she sits down at the bed as he begins. " Once upon a time"…

The conversation lasts the entire night;

" That is all it says about my childhood?".

" Pretty much".

" There was more to Leopold than the kindness most saw on the surface " she manages to grit out semi – calmly. After she has nearly given him a heart- attack by her sudden harsh words ( mostly directed at Leopold) and the fireball she threw at the door.

" Snow was very spoiled. They should have kept that" He wonders why it is so important and why it would even really matter. Spoiled is not the same as bad after all.

Then the queen elaborates and he feels like he is standing bare-footed in the snow instead of curled in a chair with a blanket around him and a fire crackling in the corner. " She had a habit of treating people more like possession than well.. people. If there was someone she liked – a servant at a foreign castle, a child, anyone really , she never found it odd that those people were taken from their homes and brought to her".

He suddenly has the image of a younger version of his mom , stuck in a castle. Dressed up like she is a doll, called to Snow's room whenever she wanted it. Surely- s _he must have had some control over her life. And grandma- grandma likes people , does she not?_ It all leaves him with a sour taste in his mouth and guilt because he had so readily and easily believed that Snow had been such a wonderful child. And she probably was- but she must have hurt people, too.

He slowly reaches out to squeeze the queen's hand. He feels bad about that too: just this morning he saw this same woman laugh at the thought of someone's execution. How could he ever feel sorry for her? _But am I even feeling sorry for her? Or is it mom I feel sorry for- or even mom when she was young and hadn't hurt anyone yet._

He files the questions away to think about later and continues.

" They just skip all those years? " she scoffs.

He quietly asks her whether she wants to talk about it. She laughs harshly. " No. I do not talk about it, I would want to forget those years even existed. But they need to be listened to. ". She is tense and likely to fight again, to react with anger and harsh words so he lets it rest. But the questions just keep piling up when she looks down and scarcely swallow.

He is just getting to the part where bandit Snow meets prince Charming when his eyes start to slip closed. "she cut a tree down so the carriage would stop. Important" he mutters, yawns. He is vaguely aware of his stomach dropping and the smell of cinnamon and apples. He smiles. " momma" they used to make turnovers with those ingredients.

He buries into the bed he has been placed in and dreams of Storybrooke and family. He also dreams of castles and queens and spoiled princes and cages. The brown eyes are there in both dreams, always a little sad.

He wants to erase that sadness.

* * *

It is several days later that the door slams open and cruelly disrupts his sleep. He groans. " Someone better have died or there really is no reason for me to leave this bed". There is a low chuckle that he immediately recognizes as the queen.

He shoots up. " Oh shit no one has died, have they? " _please say you haven't- no, you haven't. Right ?_

The queen has been almost kind the past days. Sure she has her mood swings – coupled with fireballs and explosions and stuff which is always a bad combination- but she has not actually tried to take his heart or even been really mean to him. He has kept a close eye on her and he is sure she has no tried to execute anyone else either these past days or threatened any villages. She has even shown him the library and allowed him to ride one of her horses and told him stories of faraway myths. This all makes the guilt he feels by almost liking her slightly less (good, or else he would surely collapse under all the weight).

" My apologies, but I am waking you without death being the death being involved".

He looks down as he feels something being thrown at the bed; it is a simple shirt, a mid-length cape, brown pants and a golden-coloured breast plate with insignia. He looks at the queen again. " Where are we going?".

" King Midas is holding a ball. I am taking you with me, so get dressed. It will take us the entire day to get there".

" My but is already hating this" Henry groans. Because yes, an entire day of riding is going to suck .He is excited about the trip and the ball though; it is so cool that he gets to do stuff like that. Even if he feels slightly guilty and constantly homesick.

He jumps out of bed. " Thanks! I am going to wash myself".

" I presumably still should not send any servants?" . The queen had 'graciously allowed ' him servants , but it makes him really uncomfortable. He would rather just dress and bathe himself and only see the servants to chat with them, not to order them to do all the things he can do himself.

" Nope" he runs towards the as-of-yet freezing water . " Hey!" he says as the water suddenly starts to steam. He tries to hide how impressed he is beneath scorn- he is r _eally_ uncomfortable with her using magic- because did she just telepathically warm water?

" Be quick, please" she says and disappears again.

Before he washes himself, he does what he has been doing twice a day since that first night. He turns his phone on and presses his mom's number. Static and crackling. He grits his teeth, presses down a little violently on 'ma'. More static and crackling. He turns the thing off .

He scrubs a little too hard, his skin becoming red but he cannot help it. He envisions washing away the feeling of panic and acid being poured into his lungs and eyes he gets whenever something reminds him of home. He also takes the time to let his thoughts wander from the mundane- _are we going to have to dance_ – to things like – _she is not mom. She is not redeeming herself, so why do I still not hate her like I thought I would ?_ – and downright painful things like – _is it even possible to open another time portal?_.

He rinses off, struggles the slightest bit with the unfamiliar clothing and has a quick inner debate about the insignia. It is obviously the queen and he wonders whether he wants that on her chest like he is one of her guards. Like he is rooting for her. At the last possible moment, he decides to wear it anyways.

He wonders whether that makes _him_ bad.

* * *

The thought hits him like Zeus' weaponry, like an erupting volcano and a geyser beneath your feet. He hides behind several laughing people with drinks in their hands, tries to be as subtle as possible as he sneaks glances around them. The guard that is assigned to him- well fair enough, he cannot actually see a face but he can feel the judgement. But who cares, when the following is happening.

Emma is dressed in a red dress she must have borrowed from someone. She looks nervous and out-of-place and somehow confident and brash at the same time as she approaches the queen and taps her shoulder. For a moment, he thinks the queen will order her guards to drag Emma away.

Then-

The queen's entire demeanour changes. She smiles and steps close enough to Emma that she might even be able to feel the heat that comes off Emma's cheeks. She drags her fingers down Emma's arm and entangles their hands. Emma says something before she is pulled towards the dance floor.

He stares as the queen places her hand on the small of Emma's back and places Emma's hand on her shoulder. At the start of the dance, Emma looks awfully tense. Her shoulders are drawn back, her jaw is clenched- she looks basically like she is readying for a fight. During the dance, she starts to relax. She smiles at something the queen whispers, lips barely moving. She mutters something that has the queen chuckling.

When Emma makes to pull away regretfully at the end of the dance, the queen pulls her back into her arms. The hand on Emma's back keeps her very close to the queen, close enough that Henry is starting to feel uncomfortable watching them. _Get a roo- no, don't! oh gods, gross._

He considers walking away, but really, he needs to know what is going to happen.

They're cheek-to-cheek for a moment before - d _id she just kiss Emma's cheek? What -_ the queen puts a little distance between them again. They softly talk while they dance to the music and he is struck by that thought. How right they look. Mom has somehow managed to make Emma relax and drop her guard while Emma has managed to draw a small, but very genuine smile from mom.

For two minutes, he sees enough that he realizes two things : he needs to start a new operation as soon as he gets home and two; he is now aware of things when he could've been blissfully oblivious. Because really, his mothers are not exactly s _ubtle_. Especially the queen- whose eyes drift and who keeps pressing closer and quickly keeping her distance again when the contact goes on for too long.

Like, ew. Parents, so much ew.

But they are both looking oddly content , like if this dance would go on forever, that would be Okay so he can bear all the pressed-togetherness and looks and muttered things.

Except he doesn't have to: one moment, his mothers are happily dancing together and ignoring the people around them. The next, the queen pretty much tears away and snarls. He can see ma trying to salvage the situation, doing that thing that often works with mom. Except the queen appears even more guarded than his mo – or well, who she will be in a few decades so she rips her arm from where Emma tries to gently squeeze it.

As soon as the guards are beckoned, he runs towards them. " Mom!" he yells, pushing past a guard and throwing himself in her arms like he has wanted from the very first moment he realized he was lost. She stumbles, but catches herself. "Henry" she says.

And- oh frick frack. He had never actually told the queen his real name ( he could hardly say 'oh funny thing, I happen to have the name of your dad and the name of your first boyfriend. Coincidences, huh? ). Like expected, the queen is a bloodhound smelling a bone. " _Henry_ ".

He slowly pulls away from Emma, though he remains close to her. He looks at the queen, who looks suspicious-thoughtful-mad-suspicious. He should probably cut in before the paranoia does. " Ehm, so I would like to talk to you about all this. Preferably somewhere we do not act as entertainment".

The queen smiles coldly and glares at the staring people around them. They immediately pale, redden, gasp, throw themselves in conversations and try everything to not catch her attention. The queen starts to walk, Emma and Henry glance at each other before following. The chatter and whispering and music slowly fades as the doors open and close.

As soon as they find an empty chamber, Regina instructs the guards to wait outside and ushers them in. She looks like a caged tiger and Emma is stumbling over words- all " The thing is- we, it is kind of- " as she tries to explain who she is without possibly spoiling the future. And quite possibly getting herself murdered.

He takes pity on her, interrupting her in the middle of garbled speech.

" My name is Henry Daniel Mills. And I am your son".


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own OUAT. Warnings: there is slight violence in this.**

He can feel Emma's arm around him tighten, wisps of light magic coming from her hand. He himself is staring at his mom; at the most furious snarl she has ever had, the fireball in her hand and the _look_ in her eyes. That look is dangling between six different emotions, and it _hurts_ to look at.

" What possesses you to tell such a _preposterous_ lie?" the queen says, her voice heartbroken for a second before it steels and becomes an accusation.

" It is not a lie, Regina- " .

The queen laughs. She steps closer, flitting her eyes from Henry to Emma. Henry-Emma-Henry-Emma-Emma-Emma. " It cannot be anything but a lie, another manipulative attempt. Did he not just call _you_ mother?".

" I am pretty sure you are still smart, despite all the insane costumes and bullshit threats. You know why".

The queen still has her fireball, but calms slightly. She looks more mocking than murderous right now. " You wish me to believe I would ever lower myself enough to with a street rat like you" .

" You seemed pretty damn interested in 'lowering' yourself like that just now" Emma spits, and he can feel the hand against his chest heating. When he glances at it, the air above Emma's hand is trembling. Much like her voice is actually.

The queen laughs. He can feel Emma stiffen and he freezes for a moment. His heart throbs, like it knows it is going to be ripped out. " Oh, you have some purposes I suppose. I am certain you could entertain me for a few nights-"

The innuendo doesn't completely go over Henry's head, which is the worst thing ever.

" but ultimately, that is all you would have been. A temporary distr-".

He is shoved behind Emma, which only annoys him a little bit. Now if only she could cast a silence spell, so he won't hear anything like that ever again. That would be far more useful than being shoved back, while the queen has _magic._ Honestly Emma.

" You don't get to talk to me like that" his ma grits out. Would he get third-degree burns if he reached for her hand now? And if he did, would it be worth it if it meant keeping his ma from foolishly attacking the E- the queen? I mean, the queen might not even-

He takes a look at the queen, at her eyes and the way she holds her hands (like she is getting ready to rip a heart out) and thinks it very, very foolish to expect anything but the Worst right now. He stands in front of Emma. She tries to pull him behind her again, but that's just dumb. She has not spent a couple of days in the queen's presence and he knows( or perhaps hopes, believes) that the queen is fond of him -as far as she is able to.

" Stop it!" he snaps, staring at her. She stares back , and her expression would usually mean he is about to get grounded if he is not careful- but now it is probably just unimpressed and something else. It makes him want to yell, the fact that he doesn't know all her expressions anymore. Her expressions are the same- the meaning is just different. He had not counted on how many of her expression translate to things that have to do with him, how it makes his throat feel like someone forced sandpaper down it – it his mom, but not.

" You are very audacious" she says, cocking her head as she walks towards him. It almost hurts, when ma squeezes his shoulders tightly from behind him. He lays his hand on Emma's, squeeze it softly, hoping it will both make her stop sort of hurting him as well as make her understand _it's okay. She won't hurt me._

"I know. I think it is because you are my mom".

Again, he does not know what her expression means. Normally it would mean "I am proud of you". Now it could mean nearly anything; it could be as gentle as it looks but it also could be the queen acting, some manipulative attempt to make him relax – only to get to his heart without ever actually, physically ripping it out.

He nearly pulls away from his ma's too-tight grip on his arm. " It is okay "he mutters, when she hisses "Henry". The queen approaches, carefully. It is easier than he expected to not flinch when she reaches out for him. She grabs his chin again, gentler than first but still not like mom , not at all like mom. Studies him.

" How did this happen?" her hand is still on his face- gentler now, though- but she is looking at Emma behind him. He breathes a little easier when the grip on his arm loosens slightly. There is that budding idea again, that feeling of finally grabbing the right puzzle piece, when the queen's eyes are gentler, calmer than he thought them capable off as she looks at Emma. And then his head hurts and this is all so freaking complicated, worse than his family tree even, when she looks more like mom than should be possible as Emma answers " You wanted a child. So you got one".

The evil laughs disbelievingly " Just like that?".

Emma's hand squeezes his arm one last time before the pressure disappears. " If there is anything I know about you, Regina, it is that you will fight for what you want really badly".

" I am quite certain the entire kingdom knows that" he when her eyes harden again, when her voice is steel and she steps away from them. When she looks- no, no longer ready to rip either of their hearts out but ready to push them away. _Please do not send us away._ He steps towards her. "m- " for a moment, the village lady's face flashes through his mind and all the pages of his book but he pushes them away. The mom he knows breaks curses with true love and is fully capable of loving him even when she misses her heart. " Mom. It is true. I am your son. Y-you choose me".

"Why?".

 _Because you cast a horrible curse that left you feeling empty._ " Because you were lonely. You were lonely and miserable and in need of a family. So you made one, I guess?".

" A pathetic woman that has all the grace of a drunk giant stomping through the forest, and a boy foolish enough to risk his life for a traitor".

" Uh- actually, I am not- " he kind of wants to make Emma shut up really badly. It is not that he wants to lie to the queen or that he thinks that that is not pretty much signing a death warrant, it is just that he is kind of multi-weary of what the real story will do to her. How angry she will get.

It is already too late anyways; the queen is narrowing her eyes and laughs. When he glances at Emma, he sees her grit her teeth. Understandable: the queen's laugh is pretty horrible. " You are not a part of our family. You are mere-".

" No. She _is_ part of her family" he glares at the queen. Ignores the slight gasp behind him. " She is my mom. And _you_ are my mom".

" I see you have not inherited my good taste- " .

" Mom. I saw you two at the ball. Honestly- "

And then she does something he will possibly never forgive her for. She leans in, _checks Emma out very obviously in front of him_ and cocks her head. " I appreciate beauty. And for all this woman's gracelessness and general- ".

" Okay, that is enough" he doesn't even have time to remind Emma they're in front of the queen that they should not piss off. Unlike his mom, she has absolute power. Absolute power that she can use to order executions. And he might have thought it was kind of cool that Jefferson's head was no longer attached to his body, but he really doesn't need to experience that.

" Listen. You don't get to do that shit, okay? We have already gone through this and Henry got fucking _hurt_ because of it. So you can stop with the psychopathic tendencies or I will punch you in the face again".

Henry gapes at her. " You _punched_ her?"

" It was a mutual punching situation".

" That is.. impossible. I do not degrade myself, I am not uncouth like y-"

" Oh believe me, you do. My jaw hurt for like two days".

He can hear Emma's angry breathing as the queen just smirks . "Stop that".

 _Oh shoots._ The smirk makes place for something far more dangerous. The queen leans in and he tenses his body, ready to push Emma away if there is the slightest hint of a fireball or something else. " I do not take orders from anyone, and especially not common – ".

He is running towards them, like a second before ma makes a movement and the queen is thrown back. "MA NO!" he says, grabbing her arm and somehow managing to pull her towards him at the exact moment a fireball crashes into the floor- inches from them. He is just opening his mouth to ask ma whether she is okay (and possibly enquire about the duration of the stupidity potion she has apparently taken) when there is an almost deja-vu feeling as tree roots wrap around his body and tug him up.

He struggles and strains. Beneath him, the evil queen prowls towards Emma. Emma straightens, clenches her fists. "NO DON'T HURT EACH OTHER, STOP" he screams, hisses at the pain he feels when he tries to scratch his way free and it breaks his nail and his skin is scraped. He keeps fighting anyway; biting and scratching and writhing. 

He is already starting to get tired, but whenever he wants to give up , he only has to look down. The evil queen is throwing fireballs with the speed of bullets leaving a machine-gun. Ma is more physical, mostly using her magic for defensive magic. …. Emma dodges fireballs and jumps over creeping roots and makes explosions by slamming her light shield into fireballs that get too close to her.

She also gets closer and closer to the evil queen. And then , suddenly ma is behind the evil queen. She has her arms around her, and she must be using magic because the queen sneers but doesn't move away, there is no purple cloud.

"I will destroy you- "

" even if it is the last thing you do" Emma rolls her eyes and the queen glares at the both of them as he snickers. " You find this _amusing_?".

"no, not really. I just am not afraid of you "

He suddenly realizes that the queen's laugh is never about joy. It always sounds mean, or – like she is hurting. " Then you truly are gullible".

"Nah. I just know I could stop you. Besides, you don't really want to destroy me".

" But I do".

"You know- " he grins despite the slight pain in his fingers and the discomfort he is experiencing as Emma smiles brightly at him. "when I arrived in Storybrooke and met Henry, it only took the kid an evening to wear me down. It was really easy to love him. He is good at that. And _you_ , Regina, love Henry more than anything. So I think that even when you're like this, the two days you spent with Henry are more than enough to love him again".

He holds his breath, thinks _please don't hate me_ and wonders whether she should. Lately, all the times he had called mom evil, how he had run away and had tried to replace her- it makes him think he was wrong. And it is sometimes easy to forget this isn't quite his mom, is not the woman he had been so angry at for lying and so terrified of losing in the end.

It is so easy to believe she is just mom, when she relaxes the slightest bit in Emma's arms and sighs. " I suppose that I am not completely adverse to the idea of having a son" she says

And Emma beams. "That's what I thought" she slowly lets go of mom, who ignores her and instead walks towards him. She holds up her hand and then slowly brings it down; the roots wrapped around him slowly start to lower him, and as soon as his feet touch the ground, he is let go. He runs to her. " mom!"

He almost hugs her. almost. Instead, he grabs her hand and squeezes it as he grins at her. " We can do this" he assures her.

" Do what?"

The answer is instinctive. " Be a family".

* * *

In the end, the queen calms down. She is snappy and sarcastic but she is also glancing at him whenever she thinks he won't notice. And she looks like mom when she does that. She really does. Anyways, in the end she calms down enough to listen to ma's explanation (and mock it for its 'vulgarity and ineptitude') and even give her a room.

It is a pretty one too.

For some reason , ma smiles when she sees the bed. It is yellow- so are the walls, which are painted a glorious warm yellow- apart from the decorative fireballs , that are golden-orange. The queen turns from where she had been inspecting the slightly aged , giant wardrobe. She doesn't even say anything, just arches her brow.

Ma ducks her head and that smile shrinks a little. Not like she is unhappy though, just like she is shy or something. " Uh I like yellow".

" Congratulations" the queen says, marching over to the screen that is hiding the tub-bath from their eyes. He only got a glimpse, but he is pretty sure her lips were twitching. When she moves her hand, the screen moves in the same direction. She turns to face Emma, raises her head a little while her eyes flick down. Smirks. " Bathe yourself. We will have dinner after"

Ma glances at herself. "I am totally clean, so – oof!" a only barely catches the bundle of what looks to be some sort of towel and new clothing as the queen throws it her. she glares at the purple smoke that is the only proof that the queen was even here. She looks at Henry- hopefully because she realizes it is kind of dumb to share at mom's lingering magic considering she should not be able to tell Emma is doing it.

" Your mother is so rude. Very unpleasant"

Henry stares at her. That sounds almost- " You kind of sound _fond_ ".

She shrugs. " Your mother is even worse without the sensible pantsuits. Makes me almost long for the version that merely uses apples as a passive-aggressive threat, eh?".

" She also arrested you. And printed your past in the paper. And- " his throat closes and he grits his teeth. Even now, when his mom is doing so well, thinking about what she had done to Kathryn, to her _friend_ (except she wasn't. Not really, right?) makes him so angry. Emma sighs and eyes him like she knows, then bends down to talk to him. " I know this is really complicated. But you are allowed to love someone who has been a shitty person, okay? Especially when that shitty person loves you genuinely, and is changing. Just don't ever allow a person to be shitty to you just because you love them. That's never okay".

He manages a smile. He looks at the door. "Do you think we can help her?".

Emma sighs. " Kid. I told you- your mom said we were not to change anything. Even something small could be dangerous- "

" Yeah, but time-travelling has never been done. So she is just basing that on assumptions, right?" before Emma can say anything, he shrugs and gives her a sly look as he says "so we don't know what changing things will _really_ do".

" Okay, I may not be as good as your mom at that magic wacko but I have enough common sense to know that – uh redeeming Regina will lead to her not casting the curse which will lead to our lives being _seriously_ fu- messed up. You will probably not even exist, Henry".

" But-".

" No" he almost takes a step back at Emma's tone. It is far harsher than he is used to. " I am not risking you. _Regina_ is not risking you. And I am sure that even that one- " she motions vaguely in the direction of the door. " will rather suffer for like another decade before- ".

" She was really sad, wasn't she?".

Ma seems kind of thrown off by the sudden change in subject. " Uh I guess so? I mean, I don't know the whole story so- ".

" When I got the book, I never thought about that " he confesses. He feels his cheek heat as he stares at his boots- the ones the queen gave him to 'attract less attention'. " I just- I read about what she did, h-how she hurt all those people. I never once considered that-" he trails off, blinks. He hates the thought of that same woman, somewhere in this castle, getting more and more insane and less and less like the horse girl she used to be.

" She was hurt too" Emma finishes quietly. She sighs. " That doesn't really excuse it though, does it?".

"No"

"It explains it though. Do you know that is why I gave her a second chance, defended her like that".

He slowly looks up. "I thought it was because you're like a hero".

" None of that. It was because I would never allow anyone to take a person you loved, and you deserved to have a mother that wouldn't threaten at least half of your family- " she shrugs.  
" But it was also because I kind of understand, you know? If life is bad for a long time, and people just keep hurting you- well, why wouldn't you punch back?".

"She went too far".

" Sure she did. And I am not- I am not saying that it is okay, just because she got hurt. That is a poor excuse. But I think it means she should get the chance to change, for you".

" She isn't just doing it for me".

" Ki- Henry. Regina would never have been able to get this far without you. She deserves credit for the hard work she did, but she would never have started or even w _anted_ it without you. She worked together with her enemy for a year, give up the thing she loved most to save others, broke a freaking curse- that is all because of you"

"I don't want it to just be because she loves me!"

Emma smiles. " Of course you don't. You want her to be good, because she is good. Not just because that's the only way she gets to be your mom".

He suddenly desperately wants the answer to a question he didn't know he had. " Do you think she is good?"

He doesn't know what to make of her expression. " I don't really know what good would even mean , Henry. But yeah, possibly".

She winks at him. She says it casually , like she is just joking or exaggerating but he knows she isn't. " She would have to be to raise someone like you".

* * *

His mom taught him chess. He didn't really like it at first, but he started to when she began telling stories as they played, stories of knights that were cowardly as well as smart and queens that were fought their way to independence ( he now believes at least part of those stories were actually history lessons).

Anyways, he was pretty good at chess. Mom's voice was warm with pride when she pronounced him great at strategy. He is using some of these skills now, for a very good purpose: making sure the queen doesn't get to do evil things.

He started with something simple, which is piquing her interest enough to distract her. That was especially easy at the beginning, because she was fascinated by him even if she tried to hide it. He told her about machines, and clumsily drew cars and airplanes for her . Tried to explain video games and TV to her. Described the taste of hamburgers and pizza.

It turned into conversations about this world, about knights and royal customs and magic. She tried to explain what magic was ( there are entire novels exploring that question, Henry, but I suppose-). She is secretly an avid reader, slightly obsessed by the idea of other worlds and they have spent hours talking about them.

He has really enjoyed all of that, but it didn't keep her from eventually saying she needed to go. [ whenever she is not there, he cannot stop imagining what she might be doing. He doesn't dare to sleep when she isn't dare, afraid of what his subconscious will have her do ]

Now, he is testing his latest strategy.

"But it will be fun! Come on, we don't have to take Emma if that is the issue" he is kind of sad though; he had thought she and Emma were getting along pretty well. ( a little _too_ well, because the queen is So. Not. Subtle. And. Emma's. Eyes. Drift)

" I have no issue with Emma, Henry, I merely have duties to attend to".

" But we could have a picnic and talk and Emma could show off the new moves she learned during the trainings you forced her to partake in!"

"Henry, this is not the way a prince should behave".

" Mom. Come _on_ " he quickly changes tactics. " okay, if the stables make you sad or whatever- "

Her nostrils flare. " _That_ is most certainly not why I am refusing".

" Uhm-huh. Anyways, we can also go with you. And have a picnic _after_ the tedious official duties"

" Henry- ".

"I haven't seen you much these past two days".

" I am a _queen_ , Henry".

" I know" he sighs and looks at his feet forlornly.

He hides his grin as she sighs as well, says " You may come with me next time. And I will come by your rooms to talk this evening".

He offers her his hand. " Promise?".

She looks so much like the mom he knows when she smiles like this that he nearly staggers with homesickness. " Promise".

* * *

" Henry! What are you doing?" he can tell she is trying to be strict, but she is laughing too much for that.

He is almost jumping with giddiness. " Come on, we can't be late " he tugs her the last few inches, pushes her through his open door. Inside, the room is spotless apart from the wardrobe that is slightly open ( and shows a pile of clothing) and the small mountain of food on the nightstand.

" What is this?".

" Mom is coming over in a couple of minutes" he runs to where he had put the nearest thing this place has to pyjamas on a stool (it is totally not stealing if he is giving them to her). " So change quickly, okay?".

" Henry, I am not sure whether Regina- ".

" She totally wants you here" he assures her. He rolls his eyes. " She likes you" he sighs the long-suffering sigh of a son who loves his moms but also thinks they're idiots sometimes. " It is kind of gross. Also good though. It is family" he pushes her to the screen.

" Now , _change_ ".

" I can tell you are influenced by _her majesty "_ Emma has disappeared behind the screen, which is coincidentally why she doesn't notice mom has arrived. She throws a shirt over the screen as she continues to talk. " You are already starting to be as bossy as her. All 'Emma join my guards' training even though they're jerks'. Do you _know_ these people are sadists?".

He grins a little when mom arches her brow a little. Two weeks ago, he would have run forward to stop the queen from doing anything awful. Now, it is just mom who is about to remind Emma she really should watch she is saying.

" Not unlike your mother yourself. I swear, that woman is- AAAAARGH" he doubles over with laughter when mom snaps her fingers and it starts raining atop where he knows Emma is. He presses his hand to his mouth and snorts when he can see the rain move; she is obviously trying to jump away but the spell is following her. Mom talked about that.

Mom slips behind the screen. "Are you done attacking my reputation or do you need colder water?".

" Regina! You _jerk_ ".

" I have been very benevolent. I could have done far worse to you for insulting me like that and – EMMA – " he jumps of the bed and slowly walks towards the screen when his mom shrieks, then growls " oh I will make you _pay_ for that".

"Sure you will " Emma is laughing and mom seems only half-serious as she says "I will throw you in the dungeons for this".

" Can I see what is going on or will it traumatize me?" he yells, banging on the screen once. He regrets it like a second later, when a hand wraps around a wrist and he is yanked forward. He only barely swallows a shriek at the cold water slapping against his skin.

He glares at Emma, then laughs. It is really not that bad.

"what happened?" he asks, as soon as ma manages to stop laughing.

" The absolute child that is your mother pulled me towards her and trapped me".

"I just thought Regina could also use a cold shower" she grins at mom. "To cool that anger you always get from the idiots".

" How thoughtful. Or it w-would be if you did not manage to infuriate me as much as all these fools around me"

Ma just rolls her eyes and slowly lets go of mom. He could almost swear mom looks forlorn at that. " Get rid of the rain shower Regina, you are shivering" it isn't really a command, which is probably the only reason his mom even does like ma says. They're both so stubborn.

" You will remember not to command me".

" Yeah yeah, you are a queen who doesn't take order from anyone" she grins and rubs her hands. " Can we eat whatever Henry brought to this room now?".

Mom scoffs a little but her eyes are impossibly warm. " You are a child"

Mom pretends to not care at all as she uses magic to drive Emma, and pretends a little less when she uses magic to dry him, briefly touching his chin and smiling at him before letting go and settling on a chair. Until Emma tugs her up, laughing, with a teasing " no way, your majesty. Family night rule: we sit on the bed".

The only thing that could make this feel more like home, was if the mother that had raised him was here as well


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own OUAT.**

 **I hope you enjoy- I definitely enjoyed writing this. And thank you for the favs/follows/comments! It means a lot, honestly.**

The first time he learned his mom was evil, he was ten. He had overheard something, and knew then she was a liar. (before, she had been strict and 'mama'). He had traced the letters of his new storybook, and convinced himself he could never love _her._ When he had first started pulling away, and his mom had attempted everything from bribe ( foods like that are for birthdays, or for when he is sad) to threats (Henry Daniel Mills, you will never leave your room again if you do treat me- ) to pleading ( mijo, just _tell_ me, I do not understand) to just tightening her grip on him until he hardly couldn't breathe,

and it was almost easy to hate her.

The second time he learns, he is older. He knows that some only know his mom by her famous monniker, 'the evil queen'. He knows she has a special voice, one he used to think was just so he could have a villain to fight against, one he was never scared off, but now knows to _actually_ be the queen's. He knows she liked apples, long before she even knew she could be queen, and really long before anyone would ever think she was evil. He knows she has ripped out hearts, knows it so well that he can quote every word, every sentence, where she takes another one.

But somehow, it still crushes him.

Apparently, reading something in a storybook is very different from wandering the castle of who will be your mother, and finally finding something he hadn't seen yet, and excitedly stumbling into the room, and it ending up being _the_ room.

He should've just walked away, there was nothing to be gained from actually getting closer to rows and rows of golden boxes. But part of him thinking, _maybe they're not all filled, or maybe she returned them to their owners- like I asked her to_ , even though he knows better because she had downright laughed when he suggested returning people's hearts, making amends, being _better._

The first one opens at the slightest pressure of his fingers, and he doesn't want to know whether it has any dark spots- and even if they were all dark, _nothing_ would ever justify taking hearts. Nothing. Still, it might make it hurt less, if he could actually force himself to look at them and see they're not all innocent people

There is already a row of open boxes, when he finally dares to gently take one. It makes him all squeamish, and he is reminded of that time he was dared to grab a spider and put it on his face, but he finally does and stares at it. It is warm in his hand, and he can feel the heartbeat the way you sometimes can when you are running really hard or are really scared, and -

 _I could return them. I have access to them right now- she won't be back for._ He is already removing several at once, careful to not drop them, treading from one golden box to the next when he realizes just how _many_ there are, and how full his arms are and how easy it would be to drop them. He is turning around, frantically searching the room for anything like her bag, when he hears her boots-

he stumbles back, one of the boxes closing as he slams into it with a thud, and stares at her. She clicks her tongue, her eyes slowly going where he is pulling the hearts more towards his body. She takes another step - _I got to stop her, I got can I?_ \- and he has only been able to see his mother when he came here. Because maybe his mother does not smirk like that, does not lower her voice, does not march around in clothing like _that_ -

but she smiles the same way sometimes, and she can say Henry in the same tone and even during their first meeting, she just looked like a really cranky and awful version of his mom.

Now, she doesn't. Not at all, actually, and he presses back and gulp and tries a weak glare " You are not g-getting them - ".

" They belong to me, Henry".

" No, they don't! They belong to the people".

The queen chuckles. " How noble" she mocks, and she might as well have ripped his heart from his chest, because he _hates_ it when she treats him like he is just another idiot around her.

" it is not right, mom. Really, you can't - ".

Several boxes slam closed with a wave of her hand, and he doesn't need to glance to his right and to his left to know the hearts that were there are back in their boxes. He slowly starts to move towards the door, his eyes still on the queen-

she steps in front of him, leans towards him. " Return the hearts to me, Henry ".

" No! You will just- you will- " he swallows. " Why didn't you give them back- the only reason _I_ can think of, is if you wanted to use them for something".

" It is merely about not praising traitors for their faith in _Snow White_ ".

" No. It is wrong, mom".

" _I_ am not wrong" she grits out, and stalks towards him. He raises his head, facing her scowl. He feels a little like Perseus, facing down Medusa-

"I am not , either" even if he had been doubting things. Even the myth doesn't seem easy anymore, not after that lengthy discussion he had with mom ( in the purgery that was after finding out he was adopted, but before he knew mom was the queen) about whether Medusa can truly be seen as a monster, _afterall it were the gods who made her like that, who hurt her_ and the certainity that you can't take away someone's parent, no matter how terrible they have been-

The queen leans in, and his scowl slips. He has grown, and he has a list with things that make him doubt that things are quite that easy, quite as simple as when he had first stared at his mother with rage in her eyes and a heart in her hand. Discussions with mom, and Emma, and the talks about killing his mom ( by the _heroes_ ) are all on the list. Right now, he adds the queen's smile to it.

" You should exude confidence like that more often , Henry".

" What are you doing?" it is funny, that he sounds so calm with her hand pressed against his chest. He knows he should be fighting, and he definitely has the anger for it - _you can solve all this, you can just give them back their hearts so why aren't you_ \- but he just stands there and watches her when she stares at his chest.

" You know- you could be like me, if you just- ".

" I will _never_ \- ".

There is something that makes him frantically think of a way, anything, to get him out of that door behind them. Something in her eyes, something that makes him think _don't. you are my mom, you're not her, don't-_ and he slowly moves his hand, his heart beating too fast, that will make it even easier for her to just grab it when-

" If I had your heart, you would understand me".

" N-no ".

She sighs, and slowly retracts her hand. He slumps against the boxes, and nearly drops the hearts because he is shaking. " You would never forgive me- " there is that smile again. Mom's smile, the one of A's and special dinners, and of fingerpainting and wiping flour from her cheek. " And I have no reason for you to be anything you are not".

There is something that makes him think of slipping out of bed, and going to the kitchen and hearing his moms' voices- "I didn't know, _shit_ Regina. I can't believe they took your choice like that" - and glimpsing enough of the queen's face that he felt his own eyes burn.

"I- ".

" I do wish you to return my hearts to me, however".

" To them. You have to- ".

And gone is that smile, and mom's eyes. " I am a queen, I do not _take_ orders, I give them. And I am ordering you right now- ".

" I do not care! You cannot-".

" As your _mother_ \- ".

They both freeze. She has never refered to him as her son before. She has treated him as such, and she has given him clothing with her coat of armour, and the times he got to accompany her to events he was introduced as 'prince Henry' , but she hasn't actually acknowledged she believes him, that she knows it.

" Mom?".

She steps backs. " The hearts. _Now_ ".

" I- " he looks at them, glowing faintly in his hands. Who knows who they belong to . They could belong to anyone. " Why won't you just help them?".

The way she grabs his chin is nothing like mom. "You do not help traitors, you _destroy_ them- ".

He yanks free.

And runs

* * *

It isn't an apology, not exactly. But it is more than he expected from her.

She finds him easily. She always does. It is what family does, and what his family does best. He is just isn't whether he wants to be found right now.

He wipes at his eyes, and sturbbornly looks away from her when he hears the soft rustle of her cape. She slowly sits down next to him, and when he glances at her, she has her hands in her lap and is staring at some point in front of them.

He looks away again, clenches his jaw. _She could help them._ He sniffles, and wipes at his cheeks again. That makes him angry, too.

" Do I - do we ever spend any time beneath my tree together?".

"What?".

" You and I. I am your mother in this other realm, correct?".

" Yeah ".

" And you made these comments about my interest in apples- ".

"Obsession, yeah".

" and how I own an apple tree. So do we ever spend any time beneath it? " when he sort of ignores her, he almost expects her to get mad. Or to demand he talks to her. But she almost sounds hesitant when she speaks again " I used to enjoy that. Spending time beneath my tree, with my father".

He has yet to meet the other Henry, and the queen has been careful with her questions so she doesn't know what she is going to do to her dad. She doesn't know that much about what life in Storybrooke will be like at all, apart from little things. Questions she thought would not be dangerous.

" He used to ask one of the servants to make a basket of food, and then we would sit beneath it and he would teach me".

Mom never really told him much about her childhood, and he later really doubted anything she had told him was even true in the first place. From all the things he wants to know more about, what she was like growing up is one of the things he just _needs_ to know about. " What did he teach you? ".

The queen really _is_ mom when she smiles like this. "Everything that my mother believed to hold no value. Legends. Languages. He answered all my questions, like why the sun was so warm on some days and not so warm on others".

" Did he know everything?".

She is still smiling. " I certainly used to think so. But naturally, he did not. If he did not, he would tell me to wait a few days, and sooner or later I would receive a book that could answer the question - or talk to a person who knew something about it".

" Your dad sounds awesome".

" He is wonderful" she smiles at him. "I think he would be very glad that you carry his name ".

He smiles back at her. " I am glad, too. He sounds like a good man".

His mom doesn't say anything, and he forgets his anger and frustration and _everything_ for a moment. She just looks - he grabs her hand, and squeezes it. She stares at his hand, and for a moment his stomach protests, and he already tenses. But instead of pulling away, she squeezes his hand, and carefully scoots closer to lean against him.

" You are a good person, Henry" she says.

" Even if I don't agree with you?".

She sighs. They had a few fights about it, but now they just avoid talking about his grandma. " Even then, yes".

He smiles at her, squeezes her hand after a short hesitation. "I am glad you say that".

She chuckles, but he knows to look at her eyes at moments like this. He doesn't know whether he just didn't want to see it when he was ten, whether he was ignoring it or too caught up in the idea of the evil queen, but he sees that flash of pain now. " Although the people certainly would not believe that means anything. They still think- ".

" I believe it means a lot ".

" You _do_?".

" Yeah. I mean, I used to think you knew about good and evil and you just choose evil right? But I am not so sure anymore, and I still - I still want to be a hero. And it is even more difficult to get you to call anyone good, so it actually means a lot that you say that".

Her hands hesitate on his arms, and she only pulls him into a hug after that short hesitation. "Gracias" she mutters ( he had told her about sitting in her study, and biting his lip as he tried to sound out the words. He had told her about how he rested on her hip as she made the victory dinner when he had managed to solve the puzzle she had written in Spanish)

" De nada"

" You are like him" she says suddenly, and he pulls back to look at her. She lets him go, but keeps her hand on his. He doesn't really pay it any attention when he asks " like who? Granddad?".

"Yes. He is very empathic. And loyal" there are tears in his eyes, because she sounds fond in a way he didn't think her capable of. _Henry, you can't change anything. You will prevent your own birth if you redeem Regina._ That's what Emma said, but he wonders if it wouldn't be worth it. It would be the heroic thing to do, surely-

" Henry- why are you crying- "she gently wipes away his tears, and he smiles.

" I am just sad about some stuff. It is nothing, really".

" Henry- " she gently turns his head her way. " I am devastated at the thought of you leaving".

" You are ?".

She nods.

"It really sucks".

" It what?".

He chuckles. " It means it is bad. Really bad".

" I quite agree".

" At least you will see me again"

She smiles. It is a very tiny one, and it quickly drops again but at least it is there. And he understand about not smiling right now- kind of difficult, when your throat and eyes feel like that. " There is that".

They switch to other topics after that. His mom tells one of the legends his granddad told her, at his insistence. She tells how she has grown the apple tree ( he already knows the story. At least his mom didn't lie about everything). When the stars appear, she points them out and tells their stories.

He focuses on the brightest one, and thinks really, really hard.

 _Please give my mom her happiness. I don't want her to be sad._

* * *

"TRAITOR" she screams, and there is a tree falling behind him. He crawls back, tries to get up but only falls again. She looks like the picture now, but not the first one he saw. She isn't smirking right now, isn't scowling either. She looks more like when she ripped out his granddad's-

" _You_ " he presses back against the tree as she stalks towards him, shakes his head. "M-mom" he pleads, trying to reach for her hand. She yanks it back, and slowly kneels next to him. One year ago, he would've thought she is furious, and that she wanted to hurt him.

But then she shudders, and he realizes she is crying.

" M-mom "he repeats.

" You chose _her_ "

" I just wanted - I just don't want anyone to get hurt".

" I will not have a traitor for a son".

He tilts his chin and stares at her stubbornly. " You're not going to do it" he says, despite the fact that her hand is on his chest, and there is this weird feeling like droplets of really cold water falling on his skin.

" Won't I?".

"No. You won't".

He gasps, and he can't ever remember being this cold. She leans in, and ignores his slight whimper as the cold spreads from his chest. " You are very wrong".

" A-am not" he gasps, shivering. _It's so cold._ " L-love me".

She is searching his eyes, and he tries to smile at her, and then her eyes widen and flit to where her hand is and- she yanks back and nearly falls herself. It's kind of like being under water for a while, and then taking the first breath of air when the pressure in your chest gets too bad.

He coughs. " Told ya" he croaks, and she just stares at him, then her hand, then him. He wants to ask her what she is so conflicted about- _please let it be doing evil stuff-_ but he is still shivering too badly to ask. He presses against the tree at his back, and tries to breathe without having it hurt like this.

He watches her when she slowly stands, and strides towards him. She stops several paces before him, and he is too exhausted to run, and _surely_ it must mean something, anything that she didn't take his heart. He stares at her when she gets even closer, and narrows her eyes at him.

He doesn't hesitate to take the hand, letting her pull him up. She keeps an arm around him, her nails slightly digging into his shoulder. She doesn't talk when she leads him towards the carriage. The guard opens the door for the both of them, and she pushes him inside. It isn't gentle, but it isn't rough either. Not really.

He closes his eyes as he leans against the window, listening to her voice ( he can't actually make out any words) . He is really tired, and he still wants to warn them. He wants to warn his grandma, and the other people but he knows he can't escape this carriage.

" You will return to your chamber. You wil stay there" she is talking before the door even fully closes, and her voice hasn't been this cold in ages. He blinks againt the tears. " Am I clear? ".

" Yeah" he mutters

" Good. And Henry- ".

He turns, and she seems to falter for a moment before her eyes harden and she continues. " If you ever attempt to betray me again- I will not show mercy".

His glare is a very good copy of hers. " So that's it? You are just going to be evil. You have me, and Emma, and they could all forgive you but you just want to be evil".

" Enough" she snaps, and he knows he is being obtuse but he can't help it. _Why can't she just return the hearts, or at least stop hurting people. We were happy, the three of us, but she keeps being awful._ " Doesn't it mean _anything_ to you- the chess games and the talking and duelling with Emma and teaching me how to horseride- doesn't it mean anything? ".

"You betrayed - ".

" No , I _didn't_ " he spits at her, and ignores the look that would usually mean 'you are grounded' but in this place probably means 'your new room is a dungeon' . He continues anyways, because she already did one of the worst things she could do, which is continuing to be like that even though things were getting to be pretty great. " I just wanted to help them- I don't want anyone to get hurt".

" They deserved it".

" No, they didn't! No one deserves that, why don't you _understand_ that".

She leans in, scowling. " They disobeyed their queen. They chose Snow White over me".

" Because you keep hurting them!".

She leans back. " Enough, Henry".

" _No._ Not until you see-".

" I _see_ plenty. Right now, I see a disobedient boy who did not deserve my mercy".

He swallows. " You really think that? That I deserve to have my heart pulled out".

" You- ".

" I just did not want anyone to get hurt" she is opening her mouth, the anger in her eyes enough to warn her she is going to say something awful, the slowly closes it when he says " I did not want _you_ to get hurt either".

" Me?".

" Yes. You're spending time with us. Which means you are not always where the book says you are. What if that also changes the story, and you are attacked, and you get hurt? ".

The queen scoffs. " I have magic".

" And they've torches, and arrows, and swords, and and- "he stutters, and he has to swallow several times and is shivering again when he thinks of how even his _grandparents_ had talked so casually about killing her. " even the heroes won't show mercy. They will - " he squeezes his eyes shut, and he doesn't want to think about it. _Really_ doesn't, but his stupid subconscious doesn't care because he still sometimes wakes up crying after he has dreamt about it.

"They will do something terrible and- and you won't be able to save yourself ".

She smirks, and he glares at her. She touches his chin, but it isn't comforting like it usually is, not when she says " I could murder them all before they have even taken a step towards me". He pulls his head back, and she narrows her eyes.

" You shouldn't want to hurt them. And even if you did- even if you were that terrible, people could still shoot arrows- ".

" Catching arrows is fairly easy".

" Or they could use squid ink on you or - ".

" How have you obtained knowledge about- ".

" Or they could ask someone that you angered for help, someone with magic like yours- ".

" Henry" she allows her to touch his chin again, but only because she does not look mean. Instead, she just looks like mom after that time he had fallen and his pants were ripped and he had been so startled that he couldn't stop sobbing. " I promise you, I will not be hurt".

He swallows. "You can't hurt them, either".

She scowls. " They are traitors, Henry, and such behaviour needs to be punished".

" They just want you to stop hurting people!".

" _They_ hurt me first" the queen looks startled, and actually reels back a little after that. He just stares at her, at how she is snarling yes but her eyes don't show that anger he expects. Behind the surprise, and the confusion, there is something he thinks is pain. He swallows, and hesitates only a heartbeat before laying his hand on hers.

" I am sorry" he whispers

He hopes she doesn't succeed in pulling herself together, because he still hates it so much when people lie to him. Even if the lie is about their emotions- even if it is pretending not be hurt or anything, he hates it. " Why do you love her?" she suddenly asks.

" Love who?".

" _Her_ " she pushes the name out through gritted teeth " Snow White".

 _She is my grandma. She is nice, caring. She is a hero._ He shrugs. "Who says I do?" .

The way she studies him makes him want to run a little. What if she finds out who he is related to? The thought of her ever looking at him with the expression she always has when she reminded of grandma is something so terrible there isn't a word for it. " You do. It is noticable".

He swallows. " She is a good person, a hero- " he eyes her hand when she yanks it away from him, the way she holds it, the same way she held it before she tried to rip his heart out. But she doesn't, now. Doesn't even try it.

" And I am evil "

" I don't know".

She looks at him. " Henry?".

" I mean - the book was pretty clear about it. But the book never talked about any of the other stuff, about what happened before Snow, or what happened during your marriage. And I've learned a little about that- ".

He stops talking, and gasps. "M-mom?" he asks, gently reaching out. Her eyes are downcast, and there is tears clinging to her lashes. "I am so sorry, I am sorry, what did I say" he rambles, staring at the tears. His own eyes tear up, and he grabs her hand again. " I didn't mean to hurt you, I am so sorry".

" No, it's- I dislike remembering certain things" she whispers. He doesn't miss how her voice cracks.

" Like- like Daniel?".

For a moment, she looks like one of the pictures- with a snarl, and cruel eyes and hand slightly raised. Then she deflates, and she is just her. And really sad. " Yes. Amongst other, less happy memories".

" I really hate that- that they hurt you" he says, and he means it. When he first learned about the curse, he had thought everything was a lie, and that the only reason he was her son, was so that his birthmother and grandparents would always miss a part of their family. And that had made him so angry, and he hadn't really cared (or at least had tried very hard to not care) that she might be hurt by anything he said.

He hadn't even believed she could get hurt, had been determined that evil couldn't get hurt.

But she smiles at him, and it is obvious that 'evil' can get very hurt. " You are one of the only ones"

" But- the people, they must be angry that someone hurt you, right? Because that's not fair. No one should hurt anyone- and you got hurt when you weren't doing bad stuff yet".

She chuckles, and it is the worst. " It was their _king_ , and their perfect _princess_. I was no one to them- and they were everything".

" King Leopold was supposed to be kind " he frowns. _In the book he seems so kind, but he has hurt mom- so what does that mean?_

" It was a superficial kindness, Henry".

" Superficial?".

" On the surface, he was kind and empathic and wonderful. But to certain people- " she pauses and he sees she is remembering something. " he was just another tyrant, another spoiled royal who believed he owned everything".

" You are a royal" he says, thinking of the conversations he has had with her over the past weeks. It's odd, because he thought she didn't really care about that, but she still insists to be called 'your majesty' when they are around her guards and everything.

"Not by birthright"

" You didn't want to be a queen- did you?".

" No".

" What did you want to be?".

" I did not care much, Henry, I just- " he stares as she smiles slowly. " I just wanted to be someone's true love. Someone's happiness. That is all I wanted".

" Then why - ".

" _Because_ " and suddenly all that gentleness is gone, and it is more difficult to see his mom in this woman. " my true love is gone".

He knows Emma keeps warning him about telling too much, and that they will have to leave as soon as they figure out how, but really, she gets all her warnings from TV shows so she doesn't know anything anyways. " But you have me. And Emma. Isn't that enough?".

" You will leave. And Emma- we are barely amicable".

" I don't want to. Like I _do_ , because I miss home and you but at the same time I really don't want to leave you here" he wrinkles his nose. "And Emma really likes you, you two are gross sometimes".

She laughs, but she isn't looking at him. " I do not wish you to leave, either".

" We have to , don't we?"

" I am not certain, I - " she interrupts herself, and sighs. " Yes. You do need to leave, it could have serious consequences if you remain here any longer".

" You were going to lie".

" You are going to abandon me" she counters

" I didn't mean it like an accusation, just that you didn't. You could've lied but you didn't ".

" You ran away".

" I was going to return" .

She finally looks at him again, her eyes wide. " You were?".

" Yes"

" Ah. To get Emma, of co- ".

" No, for both of you. You're my moms".

" Henry- ".

He still wants to yell at her for hurting people, or ask why she can't just be good , but he also has learned more about her these past weeks, and it is making him understand. He almost doesn't feel guilty for even caring about who she is right now, rather than just care about who she will be ( most of the times, she is just mom in his head. But it's all really confusing, and sometimes he can't really see his mother in her)

" I don't want to leave you. I don't want you to be alone again- "

She smiles at him, which is usually when it is the easiest to see his mom in her and not just like mom's doppelganger or something. " I really wish you to stay, too, Henry".

" But we can't. And you can't keep doing evil stuff- ".

The smile slips. " Because you will only stay if I _love_ Snow White like everyone else?".

" No, because you can be better- I know it mom. And you're happier when you're not like this"

" Happier- so I am happy, then?".

" I mean, I think so. It was difficult, but you've been happier"

She just stares at the air for a moment, a look he doesn't really know how to interpret on her face. " Dare I ask what happened to Snow?"

" You don't have to hurt her to be happy". _She technically gave you happiness, because Emma and I only exist because she didn't die._

The queen sighs, then chuckles. " You still have to stay in your chambers".

The calm , sort of happy atmosphere vanishes. He straightens, and presses his hand against where his stomach is suddenly churning. "You can't hurt them".

" I will not be able to, after the time I lost chasing you. They are long gone"

He has a feeling she could, if she forced her guards to spend the night searching, and used a lot of magic but he doesn't say anything. He slowly relaxes, and smiles at her. She gives him a really short one, then goes back to staring at nothing at all.

He yawns, and slowly moves to lay his head on her shoulder. Moments before he falls asleep, he feels a hand on his head.

He smiles, and dreams of his family.

* * *

" I wish I could see that" the queen remarks, a wistful expression on her face. They're waiting for Emma to return from her run. She insists on running in the mornings, and doing push-ups and such which has the queen come up with really ridiculous reasons to watch sometimes ( Emma knows that the queen just likes her, because she is always grinning after these 'supervisions').

But while they waited for Emma, they had gotten to talking. His mom has shared some stories off her childhood- of the very rare trips she got to make with her father, of her first time riding a horse, things like that- and he shared some of his own.

Which is why she is smiling but also kind of looking sad, because he knows she really wishes she could have those memories. He doesn't understand everything about her life ( she gets alternatively furious and devastated when he tries to make her talk about the years as Leopold's queen) but he knows enough that he wishes, too, he could give her that-

He sits up so suddenly and gasps so loudly that the queen snaps her head towards him, and reaches out for him. "Henry, are you all- ".

" You can! " he nearly shouts in his enthusiasm, then elaborates when he catches her confused expression. " Mom, you can see my memories- we just need a dreamcatcher".

"You would do that for me?".

"Sure. Do you have one?".

" Yes, I think so. I would just need to visit my chambers".

He scrunches up his brow. "I never noticed a dreamcatcher in your chambers".

She chuckles. " That is because I store all my magical objects in a different part of my chambers".

"Is that where you teach Emma?".

Her smile widens. "Yes".

He sighs. " You are making the lessons really difficult for her, aren't you? ".

She chuckles, but doesn't say anything.

" Can I watch?".

" I do not believe that to be a good idea".

He rolls his eyes. " why not?".

" Magic is dangerous".

He shrugs. "You still use it".

She touches his chin gently. " That is different. I very much wishes you to be safe".

" What about yourself? ".

" The likelihood of my magic hurting me is small".

" Emma's could".

She scoffs. " That is _light_ magic".

" It can still hurt you" he mumbles

"I have dark magic to protect me"

She catches the way he stiffens, and looks away. " Henry..".

He looks down when she gently turns his head towards her. " I don't like dark magic- it changes people".

" It is not some force that darkens people's heart, Henry".

" But it is! It's bad to use dark magic".

"It is addictive to use dark magic, it makes darkness more attractive but it does _not_ immediately darken your heart".

" It does not? ".

She shakes her head. "What darkens one's heart, is commiting acts of cruelty, of - " she grits the word out. " Of evil".

" But not magic?".

" Hardly".

" Is that what happened - did using magic make you want to do bad things? ".

She slowly lets go of his chin, and leans back. "Henry".

" If that's true, then stopping magic could make it easier to redeem yourself!".

" I do not _need_ to be redeemed" he shifts uneasily at the look in her eyes. " _Snow_ White is the one who is wrong".

" Everything would be better if you weren't hurting anyone" he is breaking the promises he made to Emma - _please Henry, do not try to keep her from casting the curse. You will never be born, and I happen to know Regina would rather go through everything a million times than lose you-_ but he can't help it. He doesn't want his grandma to hurt, or any other villagers to be in danger, or his mom so unhappy and violent and not her at times.

He just want everyone to be happy- what's so bad about that?

"Even if I did abandon my plans for revenge- what then, Henry? You and Emma surely cannot stay with me" he moves closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. He hates it when her eyes tear up, and she is angry. _Surely there is a way we can stay with her- but also have grandma, and grandpa and Ruby and Granny and Archie and-_

"Maybe there is some way".

" There isn't".

She pulls back a little, and carefully wipes at his tears. He thinks of how much she has changed already: when he cried during that first week, she had just scoffed and said he should not 'waste tears on traitors'. He manages a wobbly smile at her.

" You don't know that, maybe- ".

"Henry. There is not. I agree with Emma- timetravelling is a very risky endeavor. You would be risking both your lives if you were to attempt to stay with me".

He thinks of the book, and everything bad that happens to people he loves before the curse is cast. " I wish everyone could just be happy".

" I know you wish that, but that is just not attainable" .

He leans against her, suddenly exhausted " Fairytales are supposed to be _happy_ "

" Not everyone gets their happy ending" .

"Everyone should".

" Perhaps. That is not how it works, however".

He wants to demand that it gets changed. That everyone gets a true love, and a happy ending. That even bad people get them when they becomes moms and dads- and better people. He _hates_ magic for hurting his mom, for taking people and for not giving everyone what they deserve.

" Why are you crying Henry?".

" B-because I don't like that you're still bad and you've been d-doing better but you will stop that again when we're gone and all these people are going to get hurt and- "

She hugs him again. "I am very glad I got to meet you, at least"

He hugs her back. _A hero wouldn't care about existing, not when his existence means people have to get hurt._ " Me too".

" Do not think about it, Henry" he looks up. She is smiling, but he is more focused on her eyes ( not smiling at _all_ ). She touches his chin again. " You are worth more to Emma and me than a happy childhood, or two happy decades".

He swallows. " But all those people- ".

" They do not matter".

He wrenches free. " of course they do! They're people, and it is not _fair_ or _good_ that they have to be hurt because you're mad, and the curse needs to be cast and everything".

" Henry , they are- ".

" They're not traitors, or bad people- okay maybe _some_ are but they don't deserve any of it. And a hero, a hero wouldn't let them suffer. You have to help people, even if it hurts you"

"No, you do _not_ have to help people if it hurts you" she is standing up now, walking towards him. " That will only lead you down dark paths".

" I am not YOU, I do not become bad after I help someone, and that hurts me " he almost regrets the words when he sees how she has frozen, and is staring at him. Then he grimaces, and steps back : she looks furious now.

" Fine. You are not me, I understand how the thought must _upset_ you".

" Mom- ".

" Leave".

" But- ".

" Leave".

He hears a loud thud behind them, but his eyes are on her. Part of him wants to step back and run, with how she is looking at him the same way she would at the bugs he would collect from the garden, and present proudly to her (but there is no easy smile a second after, no 'mi principito')

" No. You don't under- ".

 _No mom, don't do that._ Her laugh is awful. " I understand quite well. You are revolted by who I am, and by the fact that someone like _me_ could ever be family".

He takes a few steps towards her, his mouth dry. He knows she might even throw fireballs at him( even if she probably won't try to actually hit him with them) , reaches for that hand anyways. She slowly unclenches it. " You're my mom. You helped me get over my fears, and learned me how to walk, and helped me with homework, and pointed at things to tell me their Spanish names. You're my mom".

" I have yet to do any of these things. I am not your mother yet".

" Yes, you are. You might wear dresses that are a little gross sometimes, and have queen tacked to your name instead of 'mayor' but you're still more or less the same around me. You still went to the kitchens with me, and had discussions about books and beat me at chess sveral times.

He relaxes when she does, and returns her smile eagerly. "You'll always be my mom"

" That is what I want to be" she mutters, and pulls him into a hug. Only when they've both collect themselves, do they pull back at the same time.

And it is true. Her hair may be in this elaborate hairdo, and she may have one of the dresses that would've Emma's eyes stray a little ( gross mom) but the smile and eyes are just his mother. He recognizes the expression from his first mother day's present (she cried), and the first time he stole the book from her hands (" me read to you, mama"), and so many other occassions.

She touches his chin touch. " I will get the dreamcatcher".

He slips his hand in hers for a moment, squeezes. " I am going with you".

" Henry - ".

" Whatever you don't want me to see, I probably already know anyways".

" It really is more about it being dangerous, but all right. As long as you stay close, and obey my orders".

He curtsies, exactly like the annoying guy she sent to him to 'teach him about court protocol' wanted him to. "Yes, your majesty".

She chuckles. " So you are capable of a proper curtsey".

He grins at her as they start to walk. " _Are_ you?".

Anyone else would think the expression means she is furious, or indignant. He knows she is not being serious. " You still do not show the proper respect to a queen" she smiles as well, then quickly drops into a curtsey. " Prince Henry".

He tries to copy the expression she always wears around court officials. "Morons" he says, and she glares at him (it's lackluster, which is why he just grins at her). " Henry, that is not appropriate".

"That is what you are always thinking around those people. you even call them that sometimes".

She chuckles. " Yes, but I am not in possession of the same undersized brains as the majority of royals are" she gently stops him, then points at the door before opening it for him. " And I sincerely hope you are not either".

" I don't".

" I don't know- you have inherited some foolishness from Emma surely" she throws him a look. " Like that willingness to sacrifice yourself for any stranger".

" I could've just as easily gotten that from you" he throws back, then steps inside the room. He looks around. _Where is all the magic stuff, the tomes and the potions and everything?_ There is nothing there, apart from a large closet, mirror and a gargantuan-

" Why do you have those ropes or something attached to your - " he nearly stumbles when she suddenly pushes him. " We are not here to gawk at my bed, but to grab the dreamcatcher".

" Is it for prisoners? Why would you not just lock them up in the dungeons? ". He frowns. " Is it for when there are already a lot of people in the dungeons?".

"We are here for magic, not to discuss my bed".

" Why do you even keep your magic in the bedroom, is that not- " he interrupts himself, and frowns at her. " Why are you smiling like that?".

" Nothing. The magic does happen in my bedroom".

He narrows his eyes in suspicion. A terrible, disgusting suspicion. " Okay I am not going to ask, because I really, _really_ feel like I will not like the answer".

The chuckle just confirms it.

" So the dreamcatcher is somewhere - " she pushes against a panel, and the walls pull back to reveal a large chamber with potions, what looks like a wardrobe, pots with weird things inside, and heavy tomes. She is on the other side of the room as he creeps towards a jar that he could swear he can hear voices coming from-

he jumps when a large chair moves in front of him, keeping him away from the jar.

" Hey!".

"I did not mention it because I thought it was obvious, but do not touch anything Henry".

He scoffs. " Okay".

Before he can touch something out of sheer stubbornness, she is already walking towards him. She shows him the dreamcatcher, smiles. " Are you certain? ".

He takes the dreamcatcher from her. " It is pretty. How does this work?".

" If you grant me permission, I will use my magic to guide you".

He barely hesitates. He really doesn't think she will use her magic to hurt him, not anymore. " Okay".

" Thank you"

She clears her throat several times, and her voice sounds mostly normal when she speaks again. " I am going to place my hands on top of yours now. All I require you to is keep your hold on the dreamcatcher, and remember".

" Remember what?".

She smiles again. Or maybe she just hasn't stopped. " Okay".

He slowly closes his eyes, and tries to think of something she would like to see. There is a weird feeling, kind of like drinking hot chocolate that is just a bit too hot but the magic isn't doing anything yet. He concentrates harder. _I want to show her._

Just when he thinks nothing is going to happen, it suddenly does.

 _First day of school._ She is a giant here, and he is pressed against her leg. She gently takes his hands away from her pants, then kneels down next to him. " It will be fun, you will see". " _No mama._ I stay with you!" she sighs, and tries to smile. " I would love to keep you with me, but you need to go to school Henry" the ground is suddenly very far away when she picks him up, and he throws his arms around her neck. They're both nearly crying when he is sitting in the classroom, and she threatens his teacher twice before finally hugging him one last time, and leaving.

 _Baking._ " Why are apples red mama? And why do they not taste like pears, or oranges? And why do you cut them? And why- " her laugh, and he clutches her blouse when she shifts so he is on her other hip. Chewing on the apple piece as she answers. Most of the answers are faint. Some of them are interrupted when he pulls on her hair. He sits on 'his stools' and watches her pull the turnovers from the oven. " Pretty like you mama!".

 _Spanish._ Red fingernails, her hair on his cheek. " APPLE!" he cries enthusiastically, and she grips him when he squirms enough to nearly fall off her lap. " Manzana". He points at the bright drawing. " No mama, ap-ple". When he finally repeats after her , the next pictures. " Queen. Reina". " Like you, momma?". sueño. Sleep. Kissing her cheek. "Beso. Kiss!" her laugh as she kisses the top of his head. " Si , mi cielo".

 _Bedtime stories._ "And once upon a time, there was a dragon. A fierce, strong dragon that lived high up in the mountains, in her cave of wonders- " . " That's Aladdin mama!". " No, this was a different kind of cave, one that wasn't in the desert but high up in the mountains. The dragon had many treasures here, but she did not do much but guard them and hunt. Until one day.. she met the princess". Demanding the rest of the story every night, only for his mother to somehow stretch the story over weeks. " I want to be a dragon later mom. You can be my queen! ".

 _The garden._ Laughing and running after a butterfly, nearly stumbling. Finally having to give up on it and deciding that worms are better anyways. Cupped hands with several worms in them, and presenting them proudly to her. " Mírame mama". Pressing the worms closer to her face when she doesn't yell happily like he expects her to. " _Worms_ , mama ". Her laugh as she picks him up, and gives in to his wish to 'build them a home'.

 _Singing._ On good days, like his birthday and christmas and when he gets to stay home with her, his mom sings. She always starts with humming , but that quickly turns into words and finally songs. Running into the kitchen on his birthday, and allowing her to pick him up and swing him around. Being chased after he flings flour in her face.

The door slams open. The image is trembling ( he was trembling). " I HA- "

He doesn't even know how he does it, but the image stops before the queen can know he was going to shout. Before she experiences the first 'I hate you. You are not my mom'. He is trembling almost as violently as he had been in the memory, and he has to swallow twice before he dares to look at her.

 _She didn't understand._ He nearly sobs he is so relieved. Before he can do anything but stare at her , she is rushing towards him and pulling him into her arms. He feels nauseous, already starting to apologize ( _shit, she did understand_ ) when he realizes the sob isn't because she knows that he had told her she wasn't his mom, and he hated her.

" Gracias, muchas gracias" she whispers it over and over until he is crying himself, without really knowing why. He clutches the shoulders of the dress she is wearing today and thinks _I am sorry mom. I should've known - all those moments. I should've known. I love you I love you I love you._ He hopes the mother that is still in Storybrooke can hear him.

He knows it's stupid and useless and _unfair_ \- they're going back to Storybrooke, they're going to do the worst and abandon her- but he wants her to know. He is already opening his mouth when he closes it again. _You're leaving. You can't tell her that, and leave. And who says she even loves you? She hasn't chosen you, here._

He hopes she hears him say it, anyways.

(he hopes she knows it after he is gone)

 **I also wrote a SQ moment where Emma is swordfighting with the queen's guards & the queen visits ( nearly finished it). I didn't think it fit in here, so I kept it out but it may be in the next chapter. Or I could make some sort of extra scene or anything out of it if anyone is interested ; ) **


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